


My wand is bigger than yours

by pandaspots



Series: EreJean Week 2014 [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Erejean Week, Harry Potter AU, M/M, boys being stupid, do not question my housing placement, stupid puns, wand puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alternatively i was left alone with the idea of 'what if wizarding kids did with wands what muggle kids did with shoes' and wasn't told to sleep.</p>
<p>Eren got hot over the summer. Jean cannot deal. Eren apparently is doing whatever in his power to make dealing with it very hard. Pun Intended.</p>
<p>Written for EreJean Week day one: Flirting</p>
            </blockquote>





	My wand is bigger than yours

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful kaerleikr@tumblr.
> 
> working title was my wand brings all the boys to the yard. i don't know why i didn't keep it.

It was the beginning of their fourth year, and Jean could just _no_ t deal with the fact he was no longer Way Taller than Eren. He also could not cope with the fact that under all the zits and baby fat cocoon, existed naturally smooth, tan skin, bright green eyes he had never noticed before, and apparently Eren took up muggle sports, because Dat Ass.

At first, he didn't even recognize Eren. He was a short, stocky, zitty thing full of attitude right up until the end of third year. He even had braces; Eren was the very image of teenage nerd from those muggle movies Jean used to watch with his sister. The only thing that pointed out that _yes_ , the guy he was three seconds away from hitting on was Eren, was the presence of Armin and Mikasa at his sides. He could barely believe it until the other fourteen year old called him horseface.

"Still ugly as always, Jaeger." He quipped back and it was a lie. A big fat lie. He was _lying_ , and everyone with eyes could see it. But it had the desired effect of making Eren deflate. Except it worked too well, and in five seconds flat he found himself under one of Mikasa's favourite spells; there he went, up in the air by his underwear.  
"Hey, dude, not funny! I'm sorry, okay!" He yelled. He now knew why he had never called him ugly in front of Mikasa.

Armin whispered something to the girl, and she rolled her eyes, and in that moment, he realized why Armin was in Slytherin with him. She released the spell and he fell down. He saw Armin casting cushioning spells to help people when that happened, but to him, Armin seemed to think the mud was good enough. 'I'm not helping you get out of the consequences of your shits', was what he said with that.

* * *

 

He tried avoiding Eren for a while, which wasn't rather difficult. Slytherin and Hufflepuff didn't share a lot of classes. But they did have Transfiguration, Ancient Runes and History Of Magic together, and those classes were the worst. Eren was actually an avid participant in classes, and especially in Ancient Runes; the teacher was adept of the philosophy that if you're not looking at the person you're not paying attention. So during one hour he was forced to stare at Eren while absorbing nothing of his contributions to class, and the teacher was one of those people who absolutely loved to include small trick questions with valid points the students had raised in class on the tests.

To his despair, Eren kept trying to talk to him. And when he couldn't, he took out his frustrations sending bludgers his way, and as Jean was a seeker, that was very shitty of him.

He was trying not to dwell too much on his broken wrist, Marco helping him to replace his splinter after the hufflepuff helped him take a bath. He felt downright useless, and approximately 60% less of a man. And then Connie suggested they compare wand size. Their _actual_ wands, said he, not the meaty ones.

"Mine's nine inches!" He started.

"Ten." Proclaimed Reiner, a sixth year Gryffindor, and nudged his friend, a slytherin named Bertholdt.

"Sixteen and three quarters inches." He mumbled, showing his wand for proof, while some of the younger boys ooh-ed and aah-ed (and eliciting some wolf whistling from anyone over the age of fourteen in the boys' bathroom). "But it means nothing, I'm too tall. Olivander says that normally a longer wand chooses a taller owner." Of course he made absolute sense, even if Reiner sneezed something that sounded suspiciously like 'colossal dick', making him blush.

They looked at Marco, who smiled sheepishly.

"Twelve and a half." He said in a hurry. Then everyone looked at Jean.

"Thirteen and a half." Jean was very very proud of his wand's length, since it was on the longer side of the scale.

And then Eren came.

"Fourteen inches."

Now, Eren grew over the summer, but he wasn't the tallest person in the world. If what Bertl said was true, and longer wands preferred taller people, then Eren should've been that much taller than Jean. He faced his doubts, shelving them for later dwelling, and stood beside Eren. Nope, he was two inches taller. Although, he never recalled those two inches ever stopping him from feeling smaller than Eren.

"Atta boy, Eren!" Hollered Reiner, laughing, and Jean winced at the sound.

"Mikasa said when we bought our wands that I was always too big to be such a vertically challenged guy." Everyone with a brain could understand the innuendo, even if they knew Mikasa and Eren would rather commit ritual suicide instead of fucking.

And then he got the most awkward boner of his existence.

It might have been related to the way Eren turned those pretty green eyes at him, half-lidded, licked his lips while winking at him and smiled while biting his lower lip, but he digressed.

**Author's Note:**

> concrit is welcome, criticizing my house placements isn't!  
> Let's not start WWIII over HP AUs ok
> 
> Leave comments, leave kudos, make this itty bitty baby feel welcome!


End file.
